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2.17.2016

This Too Shall Pass



I knew it would happen sooner or later.

I knew there would come a time when all the bragging I've been doing about my son's sweet demeanor and awesome personality would slowly become less frequent as they are overtaken by complaints and exasperated sighs of defeat.

Not that I spend a ton of time complaining about my son, because I still try to focus on the positive and I hate constant complaining even from myself.  It's just as annoying for me.  However, I believe those darn "terrible twos" are upon us. Even for my super easy going, ridiculously sweet and cute and smart and innocent son. I knew I was incredibly dumb for thinking even for a second that, "oh maybe he won't even have a cranky terrible stage! He's so perfect, I can't even imagine it!"

Please.
I may have had a super easy and healthy pregnancy, a record breaking short delivery and a super healthy boy who's only gotten sick twice for a couple days in his almost two years of living outside my tummy, but why in the world did I think that I would slide my way right past this stage of tantrums, screaming, hitting, and selective hearing, like I'm some sort of supernatural being that somehow found a loophole crack in this whole parenting game??

Today I actually considered slapping my 20 month old in the face.
He was screaming at the top of his lungs behind me in the car while Josh ran into the store quick on our way home from running errands. Over and over and over again he screamed as high and loud as he could. He wasn't even really upset about anything. He just doesn't like sitting still for more than 5 seconds at a time.  I tried for so long to just ignore him, hoping that if he didn't get a reaction from me he'd get bored and stop.
He may not have patience in most areas, but he sure has determination.
If he wasn't directly behind me so I would have to unbuckle, turn my entire body around and lean in to reach him, I would have slapped him.  I'm not for or against spanking or 'whoop ass' for kids who require it. I believe it depends on a lot of things and that there is no single method of punishment that ensures you're child will respect and obey you.

That being said, I have never hit my son except for a few weak smacks on the hands for pushing buttons he knows not to push. I've tried to make it a point to be firm and consistent when it comes to reprimanding him. I've tried really hard.  Yet he still doesn't always take me seriously. He even laughed at me yesterday when I yelled at him for screaming at me instead of telling me what he wanted.

Now I'm afraid to go anywhere public by myself with him because I know he won't listen to me unless he gets something he wants, unless Josh is there with me.
He listens to his dad. At least better than he listens to me.  Josh has never hit him either. It must just be his voice. It's deeper and louder than mine.  Regardless, I hate feeling not in control.  And I knew it would happen eventually.

I really don't want to have to spank my son to get him to respect me. I don't want to show him that hitting gets people to do what we want. I don't want him to fear me, or not trust me.
But it may come to that to establish authority. Or something like that.

I really don't have the answers. I will never claim to. I will never give tips or even advice on parenting on this blog.  All I will ever tell you is to love your child unconditionally and to never stop trying your best.  Every child is different. Every parent is different. Every lifestyle and environment is different. That's why connecting with other moms, dads, families, is so important.

That's why I absolutely adore and cherish my mom friends and our relationships. We text each other late at night venting about the rough day we had, the cute or frustrating thing that our toddler/boyfriend did, we ask each others opinions on everything from craft ideas to baby clothing brands to names to freaking wine and beer preferences.
There are no judgements and no expectations.

None of us are perfect parents, nor will we ever be. We are terrified, stressed, exhausted and hangry.  But we're in this together. We're learning together, growing together, trying together and conquering together.  We rarely get to physically see each other, but it doesn't matter as much because, even if it's just a few rant texts and a listening ear every few days, we are the ones who understand

So as hard as this phase is and will continue to be for Jaxon, Josh and I, I am so so grateful to have mamas in my life that are not only going through it right there with me, but they keep me focused and looking ahead to what's important; my son.

So yes, just like this almost chubby stage, his gums only stage, his pre-talking/walking stage and his baby food and bottle feeding only stage, I know this tantrum throwing, arm flailing, collapsing to the floor screaming stage will also pass.....eventually....hopefully.

As for needing my mom friends to keep me going, I hope that stage never ends.

:)

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