Oh Yeah...

You thought I forgot, didn't you?

Well, to be completely honest, I kinda did.

Mainly because a lot has been happening. Well, a lot for us, that is.
Two Wednesdays ago Josh and I stopped at a local used car place to look at a decent looking Subaru Outback. We liked the look and the price so we test drove it and decided it was exactly what I was looking for.  Two days later, I became the official owner. Scary, stressful but very exciting at the same time.  I've needed something with all wheel drive and more than two doors since I had Jaxon, but my little Honda Civic was so good on gas and has been so good to me, I put it off. But with number two on the way, it was time to quit procrastinating.

The hotel restaurant I work at also recently got two new managers and, while everything is going well, my schedule and Josh's schedule got changed a wee bit for a few weeks, causing me to have less time to blog or have any sort of set schedule. But now things should be back to 'normal' at least for a while.

Plus, Easter week happened and just like every year since I was born, my birthday was immediately after.  At 25 years old, those things shouldn't be all that stressful, in fact they are normally events I look forward to. However, once I hit 23 and had my first baby, adulthood hit me like a freight train and I've been dreading my birthdays ever since. I honestly don't know if it's because I'm getting older, the time is flying faster, I stopped doing the whole party thing since I hit 21, or what. I just know I prefer to ignore it completely and pretend it's not happening. I honestly forgot it was coming even after my mother, my grandparents, my boyfriend and my friends mentioned it to me. I just don't care anymore.  As for Easter, it was weird for me because I normally go to every church service; Palm Sunday, Good Friday, Easter Sunday and even Maundy Thursday (my church usually does the whole foot washing thing), though I can't even tell you if they even had any special services through the week because I didn't attend any of them. Except Easter Sunday, but I went by myself and had to leave after the play and before the message because I had to rush to meet Josh and Jax for Jaxon's first egg hunt before leaving for work. 
Yeah, I got wrangled into working Easter Sunday.

Rant time.
I am aware of the history and traditions of Easter. I grew up being told about the Easter Bunny as well as attending every church service available. I learned very early on what was real and what wasn't.
That being said, just like I'm not a fan of the 'magic' of Santa Claus, I think the whole Easter Bunny and egg hunting thing is absolute garbage. Like I actually can't stand the whole thing.
Easter, regardless of what it's called or should be called or what the history is or isn't, is very special and important to me. But for my own reasons. It's a very personal thing for me. A very spiritual experience for me. Always has been, always will be.
But the whole candy stuffed plastic egg hunts, sugar coated marshmallow creatures, baby bunnies, chicks and sheep everywhere, strange men dressed in creepy oversized bunny costumes hopping around with baskets of more sweet treats.....thing, honestly makes me roll my eyes.
It's so materialistic and over emphasized and....commercialized. 
And don't even get me started on the stuff people make reservations months ahead of time for....like duck, rack of lamb and veal. Seriously? You take one look at all the images of baby animals representing new life and upcoming Spring weather, and you choose to eat their decaying carcasses? 
You make reservations at the same restaurant every year (one of the few that are unfortunately still open) so you can justify taking someone else away from their family to serve and cook for you?
All for the sake of tradition.

Yes, I'm salty about it. Not condemning, at least not intentionally. Just salty.
But then again, I am still pregnant. And vegetarian going on vegan.
So I'll stop now.
I still took Jaxon to his first egg hunt and he did really well. All the kids did. All the parents did too. As much as I hate those traditions, I figured screw it, let him get excited for something and get some sweet treats out of it. It's once a year and we have been needing to get a jar of candy as a tool for potty training...
So yeah, I'm a slight hypocrite this year. Judge me.

I truly hope all of you had a wonderfully sweet, refreshing and heart warming Easter. I hope it was uplifting and exciting and everything you wanted it to be, beautiful weather and all. Don't ever let my anti-everything attitude and rants ever bring you down about the things you like. Seriously. I'm just a hipster emo kid still at heart. 

On a lighter note, I recently took up crochet and I love it. I am officially an old lady and proud.
In fact, I'm finishing up a blanket for Roarin as we speak. Kinda.
It's calming and for someone like me, with anxiety issues, it's a huge relief and even therapeutic to me.  I'm still learning the terms, techniques and patterns, but I'm so glad I decided to finally do it.
So yeah, I'm sure there will be plenty of scarves, blankets, socks and hats to come.
You've been warned. 

Pregnancy update?
I'm at 26 weeks, the kid still kicks like crazy and gets hiccups and likes to stick his butt out when I'm sitting so my organs have nowhere to go but against my spine, ribs, each other...you know, typical end of the 2nd trimester things.
Haven't done too much as far as preparations go. Still have to make room in our bedroom for a crib, bring all Jax's baby clothes, toys and bouncer things from my parents house, and probably should start stocking up on diapers, wipes, formula and breastfeeding supplies. If my mom is planning another baby shower, it must be a surprise because she hasn't said a word to me.
Not that it's necessary. We have everything except diapers and formula and I'd like to get a double stroller.  We'll make do. I don't have the energy to worry anymore.

I feel bad that my first pregnancy was cute and exciting and this one is just....a chore.
But I really just want this kid here already. I'm ready to get the whole birth giving thing over with and start my second go at breastfeeding. I'm ready to be done with pregnancy.
Two boys is good for me. I'm ready to retire my body haha

I know I'll miss it 6 months after. 
Judge me.

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