12.27.2016

In Closing...

[I have a lot of catching up to do in the comic department, but this beautiful warm day has given me just enough good feels to get it done. Or at least try.]

I hope you all had a warm, uplifting and satisfactory Christmas/Holiday weekend.
Ours was exhausting but in the best way. Jaxon discovered the magic of Christmas (minus the whole Santa Claus thing, which I may post about later) and Roran just rolled with it, like everything else in his exciting young life.

Despite the plethora of celebrity, family and all around human and animal deaths, never ending car break downs, junk yard and mechanic visits, the painfully abrupt start of the slow (aka DEAD) season where I work, and general adult struggles in the insurance/bills/taxes/credit areas...
2016 wasn't any more devastating than past years, really. Besides, Roran debuting half way through pretty much outshines any loss that would and did inevitably occur.
(As heartbreaking it is to write that while still mourning the sudden loss of the beautiful Princess, Carrie Fisher.)

That being said, I'm not throwing all my chips in for 2017 either. Life has never really worked like that. Sure, we can make resolutions and even stick to them and do our best to make it better, personally. But death cannot be stopped, no matter how much we hope, pray and try to hold it off.
I don't really make a list of resolutions anymore. Not ones that I could and should be doing every day as it is. We should always have goals and dreams. We should always be striving to be better and do better. At least that's how I see it.

That doesn't mean that I won't take this opportunity to reflect, recharge and prepare myself for another long year of everything life will chuck my way. This post is part of that process for me.

At this time last year, we had just announced my second pregnancy, we had just moved into this tiny, old second floor apartment, and Jax had just started speaking phrases and almost real sentences.
Now Roran is almost 6 months old, this apartment is full of stuff but still has bare walls, and Jax is speaking almost as clear as an adult and understands probably too much.
A lot freaking happens in a year.

My physical goals are to say my final goodbye to both the Outback and the Civic and make Josh's Forrester my own, get my mixology certification and RAMP renewed (maybe then I can make a few more bucks until I can work around Josh's schedule), and maybe make my full transition to veganhood (I ditched meat this year and have been slowly finding ways to substitute dairy and other animal products with great results).

My spiritual goals are to learn more about myself and my purpose as an empath and possibly venture into crystal and reiki healing. I have always felt things deeper than some others and even as a child wondered why that made me so different. Until a few short years ago I just assumed something was wrong with me, that I'm just too sensitive and emotional, even though I've never been a full on drama queen. I'm excited to see where that leaves me.

As a mom, I just want to keep Jaxon curious, considerate and everything he is, which is awesome. I want to get better at recording Roran's milestones and both my boys and our little family as a whole. I slacked big time this year for whatever reason and I need to snap out of it. This time is crucial and goes way too fast as it is.

As a girlfriend/wife/partner/bff, I want to keep trying to go above and beyond to appreciate Josh and at least try to give him a glimpse of how wonderful he has been and how much I love and adore him and everything he does for us. He has given me almost 4 fantastic years. I need to step up my game.

These are things I've been working toward anyway, but I'm the kind of person that needs deadlines and start times. It helps keep me focused and motivates my procrastinating butt. It will be interesting to look at this post a year from now and see the progression. Hopefully it will be encouraging.

My advice is to reflect first, set your goals high, but reachable, and share your goals with at least one person who will keep you accountable without judgement or pressure. You don't have to broadcast it, because that may set you up for disappointment, but having someone close to keep you looking forward is something we all could use. And don't be afraid to go big. I try to set one major goal that I've either been putting off or that requires more from me than anything I've faced yet. Small goals are great because reaching them encourages you and keeps you motivated, so always have those. I personally need those accomplishments daily just to not feel powerless and pathetic. But I'm harder on myself than anyone could ever be.

Bottom line, it's not about making a wish list of things you want to have happen. It's about looking back to see how far you've come, and how much farther you can (and will) go. The future is unwritten, therefore hope is always very much alive.

So yeah, I'll say it.
Bring it, 2017.

12.06.2016

This Special Time of Year


If you haven't already figured out from my facebook and instagram feed, I am a bit of a tree hugging, meat ditching, baby animal obsessed aspiring vegan and environmental/animal activist hippie.
Although, "activist" might be a bit inaccurate currently.

Don't worry, I'm not going to write an exhausting novel on my personal beliefs and lifestyle goals riddled with statistics and rants and articles and photos of our planet's current state and what we should be doing to change it.

You can get all that from my other social networking outlets. You honestly already should have.

This post is about what I am doing. How I am living out my beliefs and what my eventual goals are as far as activism and life callings go.

I am but a humble 25 year old mother of 2, college dropout and server for a hotel restaurant in a tiny, civil war obsessed tourist town not exactly known for being "progressive."
How in the world do I plan to make even a dent in the infinite life threatening struggles facing our beautiful and spoiled planet?

Josh has his heart set on tortoises, turtles, snakes and reptiles in general. We all know I'm a cat lady.
My dreams are to have an animal rescue and sanctuary for more than just cats and reptiles. I want to save goats, chickens, pigs, sheep, turtles, indigenous souls considered "pests" like raccoons, opossums, groundhogs, squirrels, deer and even snakes, and eventually cows, donkeys and maybe horses. I don't draw the line between exotic, endangered, companion, farm or food. I want to save them all. They are all here living, surviving on and sharing this home with us.

I'm tired of expanding and taking over their only homes in the name of "progress" and "growth" and not being held accountable and taking the responsibility of all of that seriously.
I grew up in a beautiful valley full of all kinds of wildlife and scenery. I used to watch for deer wandering into our backyard to snack on the fallen mulberries from our trees with so much excitement and awe. Now whenever I see one sneaking around my formerly wooded, now super populated neighborhood, I hold back tears and say a quick prayer that their life is long and peaceful and that they stay nearby where it's safer and hopefully hunter free.

Pocahontas is still my favorite Disney "Princess" and movie.
I used to run barefoot through the wooded lots surrounding our house (before they were flattened and replaced with more homes) pretending I was her. Watching for stray cats and abandoned or orphaned baby animals. I've attempted to save and rehabilitate many a victim of my multiple cats' hunting trips.
I was born sensitive and aware.

I'm not going to school to be a vet. I've never felt a pull that direction. Confused? Me too, honestly.
I have this passion, this fire building in my heart to work closely with vets who share my love for life of all kind. To work closely with other rescues, farms and sanctuaries and be a part of a community setting the standards and raising the bar for a purpose filled way of life.

So where does that leave me now?
I'm living in a tiny second floor apartment smack dab in the middle of a town known for their big loud trucks, louder redneck drivers, dairy and meat farms, unemployed obnoxious import driving drug dealers and mid 60's decor masked by endless daycare facilities, antique furniture shops and "art" galleries.
Not exactly the ideal setup for a sanctuary for anything but maybe cockroaches and maybe "stray" (aka abandoned) cats?

Obviously, I'm not in the position I'd like to be in. Not for lack of trying, mind you. Having a second baby, having to abandon a car we just bought 6 months before and then having to finance a new one just to have reliable transport anywhere around this mountain we live on, right before my job's slow season, pretty much sank our dream boat of owning our own property. For now, that is.
I'm not giving up. Not by a long shot. I may not have accomplished a ton in my 25 years, but I have a lot of life left to live, and I have never felt more sure of my purpose. After becoming a mom, I realized that I was meant to be a mom to more than my sons. I have a ton of love to give. I want to give it to those who haven't been able to experience it properly. I may not be a super model, wonder woman mom blogger, but I am a pretty decent cat/baby/toddler/animal mom, at least that's been my experience. 

So for now, I'll be Jaxon and Roran's mom (which I'll always be) first and foremost. I'll raise them to have tender hearts and teach them everything I learn and know about our world and all that inhabit it. I'll keep up with rescues and sanctuaries and tender hearted heroes, I'll donate what I can and keep spreading the word and be a voice to the voiceless. I'll never stop thinking about the babies being torn from their mothers, slaughtered before they can live, treated like just a number, tossed out like trash when their little bodies give out. I'll never forget the look in the eyes of those headed for slaughter, fully aware of the horrors about to unfold for them, all for our convenience and taste buds.
I will never stop FEELING. Never let myself become numb and indifferent. I will never shrug it off and say, "someone else will help them."

One day I will be that someone.

So what does this have to do with you, dear reader?
If you have not gotten around to it yet, check out my vinted closet at
http://www.vinted.com/killjoymills
Why?

Because for the entire month of December, I will be donating 100% of the proceeds received from my sales to Rancho Relaxo (@boochaces on instagram) and Goats of Anarchy Rescue (@goatsofanarchy on instagram) to help their current rescue efforts.
These ladies have one of the hardest jobs in the world, and they are living my dream, inspiring me daily and reminding me why I am still here and what my goals are.
Please buy something, spread the word, and/or donate directly to them through the links on their instagram profiles.

[Rancho Relaxo and the misfits:]






[All above photos belong to Cait and Rancho Relaxo]

[Goats of Anarchy Special Needs Goat Rescue:]
[All above photos belong to Goats of Anarchy Special Needs Goat Rescue]

This is what I can do now. That's why I'm doing it. It's be best time of year to do it, too.
(Not that there's ever a bad time to give back and bless and help others, of course.)

You don't have to share my feelings and beliefs. You don't have to want the same things I do. We don't all have the same dream, nor should we.
But you CAN shop for yourself, get something cute and know your entire purchase is going to directly benefit a creature in need. You CAN share the love and spread the word and give attention to something other than celebrity gossip and sports statistics.
WE CAN all help be the change.

Santa's not the only one who can give the best gifts....

[Photos coming soon!]