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12.27.2016

In Closing...

[I have a lot of catching up to do in the comic department, but this beautiful warm day has given me just enough good feels to get it done. Or at least try.]

I hope you all had a warm, uplifting and satisfactory Christmas/Holiday weekend.
Ours was exhausting but in the best way. Jaxon discovered the magic of Christmas (minus the whole Santa Claus thing, which I may post about later) and Roran just rolled with it, like everything else in his exciting young life.

Despite the plethora of celebrity, family and all around human and animal deaths, never ending car break downs, junk yard and mechanic visits, the painfully abrupt start of the slow (aka DEAD) season where I work, and general adult struggles in the insurance/bills/taxes/credit areas...
2016 wasn't any more devastating than past years, really. Besides, Roran debuting half way through pretty much outshines any loss that would and did inevitably occur.
(As heartbreaking it is to write that while still mourning the sudden loss of the beautiful Princess, Carrie Fisher.)

That being said, I'm not throwing all my chips in for 2017 either. Life has never really worked like that. Sure, we can make resolutions and even stick to them and do our best to make it better, personally. But death cannot be stopped, no matter how much we hope, pray and try to hold it off.
I don't really make a list of resolutions anymore. Not ones that I could and should be doing every day as it is. We should always have goals and dreams. We should always be striving to be better and do better. At least that's how I see it.

That doesn't mean that I won't take this opportunity to reflect, recharge and prepare myself for another long year of everything life will chuck my way. This post is part of that process for me.

At this time last year, we had just announced my second pregnancy, we had just moved into this tiny, old second floor apartment, and Jax had just started speaking phrases and almost real sentences.
Now Roran is almost 6 months old, this apartment is full of stuff but still has bare walls, and Jax is speaking almost as clear as an adult and understands probably too much.
A lot freaking happens in a year.

My physical goals are to say my final goodbye to both the Outback and the Civic and make Josh's Forrester my own, get my mixology certification and RAMP renewed (maybe then I can make a few more bucks until I can work around Josh's schedule), and maybe make my full transition to veganhood (I ditched meat this year and have been slowly finding ways to substitute dairy and other animal products with great results).

My spiritual goals are to learn more about myself and my purpose as an empath and possibly venture into crystal and reiki healing. I have always felt things deeper than some others and even as a child wondered why that made me so different. Until a few short years ago I just assumed something was wrong with me, that I'm just too sensitive and emotional, even though I've never been a full on drama queen. I'm excited to see where that leaves me.

As a mom, I just want to keep Jaxon curious, considerate and everything he is, which is awesome. I want to get better at recording Roran's milestones and both my boys and our little family as a whole. I slacked big time this year for whatever reason and I need to snap out of it. This time is crucial and goes way too fast as it is.

As a girlfriend/wife/partner/bff, I want to keep trying to go above and beyond to appreciate Josh and at least try to give him a glimpse of how wonderful he has been and how much I love and adore him and everything he does for us. He has given me almost 4 fantastic years. I need to step up my game.

These are things I've been working toward anyway, but I'm the kind of person that needs deadlines and start times. It helps keep me focused and motivates my procrastinating butt. It will be interesting to look at this post a year from now and see the progression. Hopefully it will be encouraging.

My advice is to reflect first, set your goals high, but reachable, and share your goals with at least one person who will keep you accountable without judgement or pressure. You don't have to broadcast it, because that may set you up for disappointment, but having someone close to keep you looking forward is something we all could use. And don't be afraid to go big. I try to set one major goal that I've either been putting off or that requires more from me than anything I've faced yet. Small goals are great because reaching them encourages you and keeps you motivated, so always have those. I personally need those accomplishments daily just to not feel powerless and pathetic. But I'm harder on myself than anyone could ever be.

Bottom line, it's not about making a wish list of things you want to have happen. It's about looking back to see how far you've come, and how much farther you can (and will) go. The future is unwritten, therefore hope is always very much alive.

So yeah, I'll say it.
Bring it, 2017.

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