12.22.2017

Santa Who?



I'm just going to say it.
I don't let my kids "believe" in Santa Claus.

Now, before you inhale dramatically and prepare a care package full of "magic" for my poor, neglected children...

I'm not the Grinch, okay?
I don't shut down any inkling of wonder or mention of the big red man. I don't block all mention of Santa or forbid them from ANYTHING to do with him. They know who Santa is. They know he's a big part of the whole "Christmas Experience."

But they also know where their gifts come from. They know WHO they come from.
If you ask Jaxon who gave him his wooden farm house, he'll tell you, "Grandma and Grandpa gave me that."
If you ask him what Santa got him, he'll give you one of those, "oh honey" glances and start listing off every single thing he's ever gotten.
He's three, remember?

I'm not lazy. I don't have a vendetta.

I have 3 main reasons.

ONE
Expectations.
We all have them, and kids are no exception. Especially as they get older. By eliminating the "be good and you'll get all the gifts on your list" idea, I'm teaching Jaxon to appreciate what he gets and also who gifted him. I'm also saving him a LITTLE bit from the disappointment of having friends who got WAY more than you. He may not always be understanding, but at least he won't think he wasn't good enough. It doesn't really lift the pressure off me, but I'm hoping it will shift the focus from materialism to selflessness.

TWO
Trust.
It's true. How can I expect my boys to trust my word and respect me enough to listen, if I'm feeding them lies about a man who flies through the night, a rabbit that drops off candy, or a tiny fairy that pays them to take their teeth? Jax already calls out my bullshit. I'm not "ruining his childhood" by sucking out the magic. I'm refusing to lie to him. He's got such a great imagination, and sees magic in all kinds of things, like baking cookies, petting a bunny or meeting Spiderman at Comicon. He's not missing out on anything, except disappointment and confusion...at least until he's older. I keep very little from him, to be honest. Of course, I keep certain truths for later. I'm not insensitive. But for the most part, I'm up front with him. Because he understands way more than he gets credit for. He remembers what I tell him, too!
Trust me, one of the first things you learn as a parent is that kids are listening even when you don't think they are. I'm still his mom, I still tell him what's up, but I'm more concerned with keeping a line of communication open than whether or not Christmas is "magical" enough for him.

THREE
Relief.
I was not one of those kids that begged to sit on Santa's lap or stay up all night to catch a glimpse of him leaving me presents. I was the shy kid that avoided Santa at all costs. If he was at the mall, I'd walk behind my mom so he wouldn't see me. If I had to pee in the middle of the night, I'd hold it so I wouldn't have to leave my room and risk seeing a fat man in a red suit sneaking into my house. I was terrified of him.
And honestly...rightfully so. Think about it.
Let's tell our three year old that a strange old man (old as in like...centuries old) in a ridiculous red outfit keeps a record of them at all times (even when they're sleeping), and based on that, employs a bunch of tiny people to hand craft the toys they wrote on a list and mailed to him, where he lives...at the North Pole (which is under water, btw). He then puts all of the toys in a huge bag, loads onto his sleigh, which is then pulled by nine magical flying reindeer (one of which has an actual glowing red nose....like a headlight), ALL over the world leaving gifts, drinking milk and eating cookies...in ONE night.
Oh, and he tours the world by visiting malls so kids can sit on his lap and get their picture taken with him.
Doesn't sound shady at all. Totally healthy.

Yet I'M the one f*cking up my kids....okay sure.




Look, all I'm saying is I'd rather explain the history of St. Nick and attempt to avoid bratty demanding butt holes for kids, than force feed them the lies I was fed, just because I was fed lies. I'll hand him a Harry Potter book and show him a bunch of beautiful sunsets if he needs more magic. He'll be fine.

I am by no means saying you're the worst parent if you tell your kids Santa gave them their gifts. It probably just means you're less bitter and cynical than me. I don't think you'll "ruin" your kids. I'm in no way certified to make a claim like that, even if I wanted to.

 Just know that my kids will most likely "spoil" it for your kids at some point. You've been warned.

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